This Time is Different (A Poem)

Poem By: Krystal Alexandria

This time is different

We’ve all been here before

This time is different

We’ve been prophesized about for millennia

This time is different

The consciousness is sky rocketing

This time is different

The pain is deep and familiar

This time is different

The stories can finally be told

This time is different

The secrets are unlocking from the soil, the stones, the streams

This time is different

The hidden arts held for safe keeping

This time is different

They’re all emerging through our cells and our breath

This time is different

The times we say, “No. Enough.”

This time is different

The times we raise our voice and are not ended for it

This time is different

The times we love to completion for pure love’s sake

This time is different

The visions and voices from other worlds

This time is different

The dances danced through us and by us

This time is different

We know this...we know this...

This time is different

The fear lives within us, too

This time is different

The systems fall to our feet in their perpetual fragility

This time is different

The illusory, false power up for reckoning

This time is different

The lies, the cheats, the veils falling

This time is different

All the lives cut short...are back.

Because...

This time is different.

We will not be silenced again and again and again

We will rise, we will speak, we sill stare you down with blazing fire in our eyes and you wil lknow that your day has now come because...

This time is different.

All is well, amen.

I Made It Through (A Poem)

Poem By: Krystal Alexandria

I made it through

The dark, dark months

The relentless stripping

Of all that suited no more

I turned an undeniable corner

It was just on time

I begged, I pleaded for that corner

And it arrived in the hand of the Divine

All this power I thought I had

Was a false illusion that cut deep, deep, deep

The more I surrendered, the more got stripped away

The more I lined up with the truth of me, amen

The truth of me reaches beyond the known measures

No perfectionism could save me

From the pain of hiding in comfort

Comfort that nearly swept me away

Revisiting who we are is an imperative practice

For we change vastly on the growth path

If we deny the call to reset

the universe will kindly and fiercely do it for us

Flags pass by, hiding chosen again

Safety trumping truth

Until truth emerges as it does

To break open what hardened over time

Coming back to love

Alignment at the core

Nature in harmony with itself

Modeling for us to live the same

UNLATCHED: Releasing the Mother Role

A vision arrives

In a what-the-fuck moment 

Sitting, chatting girlfriends

“What is going on?” we ask. 

Relationships struggling all around us 

Puzzled with recent turmoil

In relationships long-standing 

Suddenly affronting

Hidden truths revealed

No longer deniable

shadows emerging. 

In the vision came

A mother - no wait - a woman

In sacred partnership

Nursing her man at her teet 

Suckling self-worth, 

Confidence and belonging

From her ample breast

A practice long-standing

From eons of supporting men

Into their highest

With the women hiding at home

Sustaining survival. 

Purpose it gave us women 

to lift our boys - er, men

Higher and higher

“You can do this 

And I’ll carry you all the way

To the mountain peaks 

Ghostwriting your confidence

As the world sees how

Great YOU are.

Good for you, honey,” she parrots back

While another petal of her soul 

Withers and falls to 

The barren ground of their 

Imbalanced partnership

Void of feminine power. 

And then the vision

The vision so clear

Of a time arriving

Where women around the world

Lighting up like bulbs

Coming online 

to the truth that

no longer can they carry

And lift and hoist

and drag and haul 

Their men to the heights

THEY themselves 

are designed to trek

With their men 

Hiking alongside them. 

Boys - er, men’s - mouths

Latched tight

In a comfortable position 

Long-standing bond

Silent contract made

For his woman to be his 

Stand-in mother

Check the box here

Sign on the dotted line there

This is how we will be together. 

“You enliven me,

I suck from you,

Til death do us part,

Amen.”

Not. 

Any. 

More. 

You see, this vision

This vision showed a new way

Women lighting up 

Ping, ping, ping,

South America and Europe

Africa and Asia

America, Antarctica and Australia 

Ping, ping, ping, ping

Light goes on. 

“Wait,” they say…

“This is no longer 

the way, my love.”

Unlatched from their breast

they’re men fall

Pushed out of the nest

Learning to fly 

into divine manhood

Once and for all. 

The women spring giant wings

Instantly elevating into the skies

Levity becoming the new way

Freedom without burden

To be who they’re coached to be

Without the priority 

of man above them. 

“Now, my love, 

your invitation

lies before you…

Rise with me, 

meet me up here

The views are heavenly. 

You’ve forgotten you have 

Wings of your own. 

Please, forgive me,

For defaulting to my wings 

All this time. 

This is my mistake and

I release you now

To fly wherever you desire. 

Use your wings to

Build the empire

you say you want 

To be the man you wrestle

Daily to become. 

And in that journey,

Of your free will,

I hope you’ll join me

For our soul ascent into the sky. 

I release you to choose. 

Please Know, my love that I will no longer

Make it easy for you. 

Journeying with me

Requires that YOU 

Do the work 

To become who God

Designed you to be. 

I will not let you forget this

Ever, ever again. 

Join me when you’re ready, my love. 

And if you choose 

To deny your wings

I release you fully

To choose what you choose

Without me there 

to cushion your fall

From grace and 

soul-aligned life here. 

I release you

Because I love you

Enough 

to let you do 

your own work now.

I hope to meet you 

in the sky.

Photo by: http://d-vsl.com/

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CLOSING OPEN ENERGY LOOPS

I've been noticing over the past week being reminded of so many things that were happening back in 2009.

•  Lady Gaga's The Fame Monster album debuted

•  I got laid off from my fancy consulting job 

•  Barack Obama was sworn in as president

•  I ran my first half marathon 

•  The highest grossing film of all time, Avatar, was released 

•  I was running my body down with nonstop go-go-go

I asked the question to myself, “Why am I so reminiscent of 2009 this week?” It felt so weird and specific. And then I realized it, “Ohhhhhhh, we’re about to close out the decade!”

In just 30 days, we will enter into a new energetic container that is the decade of 2020-2029. When we make transitions like this, it's easy to think, "Eh, its just made up numbers. Does it really matter?" 

Well...that part is up to you.

As an Energy Intuitive, Psychic and etheric-dot-connector, I very much feel the shifts in energies between moments, days, weeks, months and most definitely years. 

I bet if you pause for a sec and just feel in your body what it feels like when you think of the year 2000...then 2008...then 2014...then 2019...they feel different, don't they? Each year has its own energetic composition and intention. Now, imagine a new DECADE. Cool, huh?

We have a very VALUABLE opportunity on our hands (bigger value than any cyber Monday sale could dish you!). We have an opportunity to consciously close out open energy loops that need to be closed out before we head into 2020.

The best part is, the tools that I’m about to share with you apply to ANY timeframe, transition or shift in your life from changing jobs to moving homes to closing out relationships to starting brand new businesses and everything in between. Read closely and take some time to close out old energy loops before we head into a fresh new energy because...

The energy in which something begins is the energy in which it is maintained. 

What a beautiful opportunity to kick off this upcoming decade with intention, presence and self-love in the form of letting go of what's ready to go. 

Let’s do that, shall we? Firstly...

WHAT IS AN OPEN ENERGY LOOP?

An open energy loop is something that began but didn’t properly finish. Think of it as an invisible force or energy that’s taking up space in your life simply by it not being completed or finished. 

It could be a bigger energy loop (like truly healing inner child trauma that got activated in your relationships this year or having a hard conversation with a friend who unknowingly or knowingly hurt you) or a smaller energy loop (like seeing your intention through to move your body 3x a week or cleaning out your car).

• Maybe you still have that thing on your heart to say to your friend that you keep avoiding saying...

• Maybe you have a desire to ask your partner to explore with you...

• Maybe you’ve been meaning to do a weekly or monthly money date to focus on your money but you haven’t done it...

• Maybe you’ve been secretly craving a trip to Paris but haven’t made any moves towards planning it...

• Maybe you committed to yourself to feel more EASE in 2019 but haven’t put real effort towards it...

• Maybe it’s time to end that relationship but you hold stress in your belly instead every day...

Open energy loops are the invisible embodiment of the ellipses → … 

They are the real life “dot, dot, dot.”

But while open energy loops are unseen, they are not un-felt. We feel them every day. 

They nag at us. They bother us. They stress us out. They anger us but maybe it comes out sideways while driving on the highway instead of acknowledging where you’re letting your energy leak instead of doing the thing you need to do, say the thing you need to say, be the version of you you know you need to become. 

Open energy loops, at best, are annoying AF. 

We often don’t even realize it though! We become more irritable, frustrated, tired, confused, foggy, avoidant, crazed, anxious, lethargic, ungrounded and/or frantic, among other energetic and emotional symptoms. 

• What if that pit in your stomach was actually related to that conversation you need to have?

• What if that headache that pops in conveniently within the hour of thinking about getting your taxes done?

• What if that craving to eat carbs is connected to that trauma that you won’t sit with and feel it through?

Most importantly, though, I want you to be with this question:

How much energy would you get back if you just did the thing you need to do? Say what you need to say? Be who you needed to be?

Who would you walk into 2020 as then? 

Makes you wonder, eh?

CLOSING THE LOOPS:

As we begin to part ways with 2019, a year that has fortified so many of us and brought us back to our power, our authenticity and our inner and outer freedom and expression, I invite you to examine: 

What open energy loops exist in my life?

Step 1: Take inventory by writing down a list. Don’t overthink it. Just write them down. This is a HUGE first step because when its on paper, it’s no longer floating around inside you with no direction. Grounding it on paper is ultimately empowering. You’re taking your power back and that’s what counts the most. 

Step 2: Once it’s down on paper, determine which one is taking up the most emotional, energetic, physical and/or spiritual space in your life (and not in a good way)? Name it. Claim it. See it. Be with it. 

Step 3: If you’re anything like me, I can be an efficiency nerd. Meaning, I’m willing to take on the biggest, scariest monster on that piece of paper first in the name of creating ease downstream for myself. It’s likely the high-achiever in me driving me to this, but hey, what a great opportunity to leverage that skill. Here’s what I know about energy and healing, when you move the biggest energy hog first, a lot of the other ones disappear with it. It’s not uncommon that several of them have the same root. Maybe it’s not being able to speak up for yourself. Maybe it’s not being able to hold boundaries in place. Maybe it’s feeding an urge to stay hidden. Maybe it’s low self-esteem or self-worth. Whatever your big, scary monster is on your inventory list, I encourage you in the name of creating ease for yourself in this new decade to...go for it. 

Step 4: Do the thing. Speak the truth. Have the conversation. Whatever it is, move that energy, love. Better out than in. 

Step 5: Watch/Feel/Sense your energy reorganize inside of you. If you think of a hose that’s had a kink in it for awhile, it doesn’t stop the water from building up pressure behind the kink. When the kink is removed, there’s a rush of energy movement again where there wasn’t before. When you move the energy and close out an open energy loop, you’ll likely feel either a reclamation of lost energy (translation: You’ll feel more energized!) and/or you’ll likely feel a rush/flow of energy that you haven’t felt in awhile. This may require some extra rest in order to give your body a chance to acclimate and stabilize the new energy composition in your body. This is entirely normal and rest is FULLY encouraged. It’s the easiest time that your body can do the repair and detoxing work necessary to move any old, remnant energy out of your body. Set the intention before you rest: “I give permission for any old, stuck energy that no longer serves me to be released with absolute ease from my body while I rest/nap/sleep. Thank you, body.”

Step 6: Return back to your open energy loops inventory list and cross that baby off! And any others that apply. And...CELEBRATE!

Step 7: When the timing feels right, go ahead and close out any other loops that you can. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to do this. Time is made up so as long as you see the closures through, that’s what counts most. Your intention alone to take your energy back from these leaky energy holes in your energy field is the biggest thing here. This message is for your inner perfectionist - say it with me: “No matter what my inner perfectionist says, I can’t f*** it up.” :)

FILL THE NEW SPACE  WITH INTENTION:

Now that you’ve created so much more room inside of you - CONGRATULATIONS! - now, it’s time to fill the space with exactly what you want. Light a candle. Ground yourself thoroughly. And drop into your truth…

• What do you want to feel in 2020?

• What do you want to feel in the new decade?

• Who do you want to become?

• What do you want to embody?

• What intentions do you feel called to speak into existence?

• What a brand new clean slate of a decade, what do I want to create? Who do I want to be?

• What visions/goals/projects are wanting to be created through you?

Big questions, I know.

But if you don’t intend and get clear on what you desire, you’ll just fill in the new space with the old stuff you’re familiar with struggling with. 

What if 2020 could be struggle-free?

What if it could be the easiest, most magical year of your life?

What if you could manifest exactly what you want?

This is all available for you in your own unique way and it’s time to ENJOY the process of getting clear. 

Remember this:

You are powerful beyond measure. 

You are divinely looked after. 

You are sacred and needed. 

You deserve the fullest version of your desires possible. 

You are endlessly energetically supplied.

You are so, so, SOOOO loved. 

It’s time to close those open energy loops in order to come home to the truest you that this world needs. It’s time, my friend. It’s time. 

If you were waiting for a sign that it’s time, this is it. 

Get to it. 

You’ve got this.

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A FRIEND CALLED "GRIEF"

To my new friend named “Grief,”

We had crossed paths at different points before but never spent a prolonged time together getting to know each other.

There was that time when a grade school boy in my class, who told me countless times how in love with me he was, ended his life by the time he got to high school. That was a rough and confusing crash course with you, grief. I sure didn’t know what to call you back then.

There was that other time when a high school classmate died on the football field at our homecoming game after our class won the pep rally that same day. You cast your spell on me that day again, along with my entire high school community. 

There was another time when a dear family friend, my incredibly beautiful, Chilean, guitar-playing, introverted crush from childhood/teen years ended his life suddenly. You helped opened up new gifts in me, including mediumship and etheric/psychic conversations from the other side, alongside the loss of my young, light-filled friend with the big, gorgeous smile.

And then we got wayyyy closer in the weeks following the unexpected departure of my grandmother to the other side three years ago after a terrible fall while on family vacation, a vacation I chose under intuitive guidance not attend. Yeah, we got to know each other really well then through my wailing cries for my family and endless stream of tears at the loss of our beloved matriarch.

Then 2019 arrived. 

A year filled with unbelievable, radical change, gut-wrenching moments and heart shattering loss. I broke up with my great love, a man who I knew in my bones that I would spend my life with. I released my home, a gorgeous SoCal, two bedroom apartment of “our” dreams. I left behind a California life I fell hopelessly in love with. I let go of my ocean, a place that calmed my heart no matter how I arrived to her shores. I left my friends, my favorite cafes, my endless sunshine, my gorgeous parks behind to seek ease in Ohio with my family for a time.

In the cascade of grief this summer, you came with me and stood at the doors of the veterinarian clinic in the middle of the night as my mom and me said goodbye to my sweet Sparky boy as he left his aged, 16-year-old body behind and his soul was set free. 

And then, as if 2019 could possibly conjure more reasons to grieve, I lost a dear friend last week after a 3+ year journey with brain cancer.

Grief, my friend, we sure have gotten to know each other this year. 

I marvel at my ability to call you my friend. I feared you most of my life. I still kinda do if I’m honest with you, which you know I try to be.

I often want to blame you for my pain, but then I remember that you are the vehicle in which that deep pain leaves my body...IF I let you work your magic on me. 

You’ve come to know many of my friends, family and members of the Courage of Ease community this year, too. You are this inconvenient friend that has invited us to the edges of letting go, acceptance and surrender in the presence of your magnitude as we are all invited, against our own desires, to release people, homes, pets, lovers, health, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, children, coworkers, family and a variety of old versions of ourselves.

I also remind myself that...

beyond the intensity…

beyond the heavy emotions…

beyond the loss…

...you’ve taught me the deepest levels of gratitude. 

My sweater absorbs my fallen tears as I write these words laced with duality. How could such loss lead to such love?

I didn’t see any of this coming. It’s something I “lower case knew,” but now I “upper case KNOW.”

I am grateful to know my own resilience. 

I am grateful to know how many generous friends would sit with me as I cried.

I am grateful to now spend time with my family and collect pieces of me in Ohio.

I am grateful to have reclaimed the parts of my essence I severed away unknowingly trying to fit in with my old life, relationships and roles. 

I have been fortified. 

I have been stripped bare.

I have been brought home.

I have been reminded of WHO...I...AM.

And while this process of grieving has been brutal at times, it’s been filled with grace the WHOLE time. 

God has been looking after me every microsecond of this journey. And that, my friend called grief, under all your immense layers and complexity, you’ve been a close companion and extension of the Divine in my life this year. 

You get a bad rap, I think. You’ve been forever misunderstood and avoided and shunned from hearts of millions around the world. It makes me wonder, though, if they tried to make friends with you, too, how much pain would be released from the outer layer of this earth and how much more love could pour into our collective hearts.

One of the most valuable knowings I walk with now is knowing how to be with you.

I spent my twenties avoiding the slightest possibility of knowing you, so much so that I avoided opening my heart AT ALL, to keep you at bay.

Knowing the pain of heartbreak now…

Knowing your companionship…

Knowing the blessings you unlocked in me…

...I will hold you close now in a perpetual dance. A dance that happens when certain songs come on along our journey together. Not every day. Not every dance. But, you and me, my friend, will always know our song when it comes on. 

Inside those dancing notes of song through the air, inside the moments of loss and confusion, I’ll know you’ll be there with me and for me. I can rely on you. I can reach for your hand in gratitude that I know exactly who to call upon in the moments I need you most. 

You are now included in my wide-ranged emotional spectrum, no longer buried under years of repressed feelings. I welcome you, my love. I honor you. I deeply and humbly respect you. 

If and when we meet again, I will surrender my familiar resistance and instead await your walk across the dance floor with a hand extended my way asking, “May I have this dance?” Until then, I vow to LIVE this life I’ve been gifted. 

This life that, by countless blessings under the sacred eyes of this Universe, I’ve been given another day to create, to feel, to love, to BE, to write, to make love, to dance, to girl talk with my sister, to have dinner with my parents, to go shopping with my aunt, to ring up my friends, to enjoy thanksgiving this week with my family, to flirt with sexy humans, to feel my feet in these cozy socks, to drink this deliciously warm tea and to sleep soundly under your loving gaze. 

I often imagine the souls that sit in the clouds eagerly looking down on us, “the lucky ones”  that got the chance to live in bodies down here in this mysterious and vast place called planet earth, as they say to each other, “Gosh, they’re so blessed that they get to feel and eat food and create cool things that never existed before and to fall in love. I wonder what it’s like down there? I sure hope I get a chance some day to live in a body on earth.”

I was given another day today. 

This is a rare, never guaranteed, gorgeous gift. 

I promise you, my friend, that even on my hardest days, I will say thank you for this treasured existence.

I will be here for all of it.

In the meantime, thank you for your lessons. Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for your love. I will take this gratitude with me always. 

With love and admiration,

Krystal

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LET THERE BE PLAY!

Photographer unknown via Pintrest

I recently started a sweet side hustle job dog walking and dog sitting. It has come as a true surprise to me just how much I LOVE IT. I literally get paid to play with adorable pups and go on nature walks. Talk about alignment and ease!

These dogs teach me so much day-to-day. Most of them I see every day. The ritual and consistency of it brings a particular kind of joy as I continue to heal and integrate all of the major changes that unfolded this year for me. It’s so healing...the simplicity of it, the connection of it, the ease I’m bringing to working families all over the city by coming to let their little babies out for 20-30 minutes. It feels like I’m bringing light and love and ease as I bop around town to see my puppy friends.

What also goes without saying is how much my inner child loves this gig, too! When was the last time your inner child was engaged in how you made money? It’s a really fascinating question, isn’t it?

So many of the lessons that have surfaced for me this year have been rooted in inner child healing and reparenting.

But even hearing those words…”inner child healing and reparenting”...it can sound so technical and formal. Yet, I found myself on a swing set not once this past weekend, but twice!! This so-called “inner child healing” has allowed me to follow these sweet little impulses, just like if I had a four year old walking next to me saying, “OOO! LET’S GO PLAY ON THE SWIIIINGSSSSS!” And bam! They’re off in a cartoon-like cloud of dust following after them. Except...that four year old lives inside me and has those very same impulses! This weekend I let her go for it.

I sat on the swing, bundled in my puffy winter gear nice and cozy, gloved hands wrapped around the chains holding me to the metal bar above and my feet cautiously left the ground one by one until I was full on swinging. That feeling crept in, I know you know it, where you, in your adult form, tries to play it cool, right? Like, don’t show too much unabashed joy or people will think _____ about you. I felt the thought bounce to mind and I just keep swinging and soon thereafter hilariously notice that there is not a living soul around other than the chipmunks rustling and hawks flying over head. I slowly begin to look up at the stunning blue sky and wispy clouds as I’m swinging and let myself fully extend my arms as my head tilts all the way backwards, wind in my hair, legs out straight just flying effortlessly through the air with a big ol’, truly child-like smile on my face! Joyyyyyyyy! Playyyyyyyy! Funnnnnnnn! Weeeeeeee!

Photo by Valerie (Valspring) via Flickr

I hopped off the swing awhile after feeling fully tousled head-to-toe and revived with fresh air, as if the breeze was tickling me relentlessly the whole time. Ahhhh. Refreshed. Alive. In love with this gorgeous moment. 

In the moments after my swing sesh, I found myself bouncing playfully as I walked through the woods to an intuitive song inside me. The only sounds happening in the moment were a humming bop from me and the rustling of the breeze over crispy leaves still left on the trees. 

The striking thing about letting myself embrace the carefree feeling of playing is...it’s utter simplicity.

There’s no agenda. There’s no point of it even. It’s just...FUN. And my goodness is it contagious, too!

Swinging on the swings led to a playful bop in the woods which led to an impromptu dance after I saw a bald eagle fly right over head which led to ordering a hot chocolate drink which led to a totally joy-filled group dance sesh which led to giggling with my sister as we walked down the street that evening. CONTAGIOUS! In the best ways! Had I not let myself swing on that quiet, lonely swing that day, I guarantee that so much of the follow-up fun would not have happened! 

If you were to close your eyes and tune in to your inner child at whatever age instinctively comes to you and just ask her/him/them what their version of play looks like today, I promise you that they will tell you! Whatever you first see/hear/feel is it! Trust it!

Is it an impromptu dance-off between you and you to a song from your childhood? 

Is it time to dust off the crayons? 

What about a cookie after lunch? 

Maybe you can call your bestie to go on a swing set hunt after work? 

What if it’s searching dog and cat accounts on instagram just to giggle it up? 

Maybe hustling away the lego set from your kids/nephew/niece just for you for a half hour? 

Or what about making at home playdough?! 

What if you grabbed that pencil and drew whatever you see in front of you just for kicks?

Maybe you pack your favorite childhood lunch today?

Play is the way back home, my friends. The more I let myself play, the more ME I feel like out in the world. 

Can we take a moment to truly acknowledge how profound and uncomplicated that is?

PLAY = ME, my AUTHENTICITY, my SELF. P

hew, how we complicate things sometimes, eh?

Okay, it’s your turn, friend! What kind of play is it gonna be this week? As with everything in Courage of Ease land, start small, start easy. Choose ONE PLAYFUL THING to enjoy this week and see what joy it unlocks in you. 

Most of all, HAVE FUNNNNN!

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Start your week with EASE in mind

(and get first dibs on my newest blogs and word art!)

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